Monday, January 3, 2011

A New Phase Began

What will you do if one day you have been awaken up by a surprise? A surprise that will make your heart jump, except that the landing is not as smooth as good surprises gives - it is heart-shattering. 

December 30, 2010
This is one of the happiest nights of my life. I secretly feel awesome and fulfilled for at my age, I have all the good things in life. And that include my wonderful and supportive family, the best boyfriend slash business partner a girl could ever wish for, a business that is my passion and living. Let’s tackle the third part – my internet shop.
We’ve had this shop for almost a year. It was established last January 31, 2010, initially composed of 8 units with CRT monitors.  As time passed, it has boomed and recognized as one of the best ones in the area since it is continually developing and has very active and loyal supporters.  From 8 units, it became 9. From CRTs, five of them became LCD monitors. Then on the night of December 30, my wish for it came true: ten units, all of them have 19-inch LCD monitors. The approach of 2011 is very promising! At my age, I have managed this big thing and actually succeeded. It is the only job I loved. It had created a small community where friendships were developed and knowledge was produced. As I looked all ten of the computers, I was grinning, “Yeah, I’ve done great!” .

December 31, 2010

I am enjoying myself at the start of this day, and when I say the start of the day, I really mean start – 12am. I’m at home playing some games on my laptop with my brother and my boyfriend. We stopped around 1am and got ready for bed. Yes, my boyfriend spent the night with me. We still had a good chat and slept around 2am.

I always thought that when a very bad thing is bound to happen, you will actually have a gut feeling, like an instinct, a tell-tale sign from nature that you should ready yourself or maybe even prevent it from happening.  There was none. I slept peacefully until a text message came in.
                My boyfriend received a text message from our attendant’s brother. He read it, still hazy from his sleep, he jumped. He ran around, really groggy, and I came to him to ask what he received.  THE SHOP GOT ROBBED. “What the hell!” I’m still in disbelief, but nevertheless, I got ready to go there, under a minute, I got dressed and fixed myself from my slumber and went there. We went there in a blurring speed but my world felt like it was on a slow-motion. I was thinking and thinking. “Now what? What will I do? Will I go back to working for companies?” I have always imagined when something like that happens, I will be all hysterical and emotional about it. And that includes shouting, cursing, crying at the actual scene. But then, we actually got to the area. It was just a less than 10-minute-motorcycle ride which we usually travel for around 30minutes normally. We saw people actually gathered around it but no one dares to come really close. That’s when I got convinced. Something really happened. As we went in, I was in awe. 9 units were missing. All of the LCD monitors are all gone. I looked around, nothing else was taken away. I couldn’t bear the feeling and sight of emptiness. I went out, back to the curious crowd. As I saw their stares, I told myself “Never show a sign of defeat. Never let the situation rob even your remaining dignity” I composed myself. I even combed my hair on their sight. I seemed calm and collected, even giving some of them fake smiles, as if I am not breaking down inside.  We have made actions rather than loathing the whole scenario. The people kept on increasing in numbers. Then came my customers. My heart really sank upon seeing their faces. It was just so fast! After all of the initial interrogations from the barangay officials and police, we went home. As we had just ourselves, we uncover our masks and just hugged. It was a good long tight hug which is enough to get us through the rest of the day. No more eating, we just had a quick coffee, changed our clothes and went to the police station.

ooh they left the keyboards, where can i send them these?

It was a day before New Year, I can imagine myself cooking and preparing foods for midnight, but there I was, inside a police station which I have never been before all my life, being interrogated by an officer whom, of course, doesn’t seem to care. Why would he care, right? He sees this kind of things happen every working day of his life. But as for me, this is my first, this is my living! I don’t need his sympathy anyway, I just need their help to do their job, so I kept my composure on. I answered his questions briefly and went home. We brought ourselves some comfort food for we really need comfort and we really needed food badly! That is the first meal of the day. It was around 1 pm.
After eating, we immediately got back to the crime scene that is just used to be addressed as “our shop” to pick up some of the remaining valuables there. As I empty the space, it came to me. “This is really real, I lost my living in just a snap of a finger” Then I broke down. It was the first time from the moment the news came to me. Yeah I cried out of sadness, out of anger, out of disbelief.

I am not fine and I will never be for quite some time. I may be all positive about this, saying good things are bound to happen in replacement for this tragedy, but deep inside, there is this void. But then I do not question. Yeah, it may sound like just a pure fake optimism, that “God has a plan”, or that “it is not meant for me”, but I’m keeping my hopes up to these. It is not just optimism, it is strength and retaliation. They can never bring a good man down. Never. 

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