Thursday, March 3, 2011

My love-hate relationship with my journals

My teenage journal must have looked like this.

I have always kept journals since my grade school days. It has never ever ended up well for them. But I love them, I always do. My first one I think was the one with secret letters on it. I used some kind of improvised secret letters which can only be decoded by two people in this world. Me and my childhood best friend. Or so I thought. If I will be able to see that journal now, I could have easily deciphered its contents. Come on, our secret letters were just normal letters interchanged. M would be N, T would be S, I would be E. Something like that. It was funny. I can’t even remember its contents and why I had to throw it away, but I’m guessing I just grew tired of it. I also had one in high school. Of course, at that age, what more can you expect from an adolescent kid but some entries about crushes. I never grew tired of that journal but I felt the need to burn it. Yes I burned it, with fuels and flames! I felt like it was never safe. I was always on vacation then and I just left it at home. There was this one time where I have to seal it by stapling all the leaves shut. So yeah, I had to cremate my beautiful journal just to leave it at peace. I also had a spiritual diary. I just love it for it has been with me the longest. Don’t ask what happened to it. I also kept a blog. It was short-lived. I guess I have never been the public figure that I always seem to be. I did not want anyone I know reading that blog. So again, I trashed it, just like that. I also tried micro blogging with twitter. But then I realized a thought squeezed in 140 characters is so pointless. So I abandoned my twitter all at once. 

And now I have you. How will we end up? I mean, how will you end up? I guess I’m starting to love you. I spend too much time with you. You have my words, you have my thoughts. You withstand my rants and obsessions. No one will ever be this patient. I hope fate will be kind with the two of us this time.

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